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Q&A: Can we ask our inlaws for money for our honeymoon instead of having them plan it?

Q. My inlaws offered to pay for our honeymoon, but I really don't want them to plan it for us. I have so many ideas of where I want to go on a honeymoon and what kind of resort I want to stay in, I don't want them picking it for us. They also planned my brother-in-laws honeymoon and didn't ask them about any of their preferences. They sent them to Mexico, which is amazing, but I've already been to Mexico and don't want to go back for my honeymoon. I really want to go somewhere we both haven't been. But, we really do need some extra funds to pay for the costs. Can I have my fiancé ask if they can give us money for the honeymoon and we can plan it ourselves?

A. Money and presents can be a very sensitive subject. You should start by seeing what your fiancé thinks about asking his parents for the gift in cash. He can explain to them that there is a special honeymoon he would like to plan for you. Give lots of appreciation for the gift. Also keep in mind that some people offer to pay for the honeymoon because they have miles on certain airlines or points at certain hotels. They may have also expected to make payments on the vacation through a travel agent. If they have a relationship where they can talk openly, this is a great way to go.

If your fiancé doesn't think he can ask for cash, you have a couple of options. You can graciously take the gift and hope for the best. You can also see if you can give a couple of preferences to them, like not Mexico, or you would love to go to Hawaii. He could also let them know that he can also pitch in for the honeymoon. This might open up communication about where you go and stay. If you don't think any talk will help, you can simply explain that you really want to go to a certain place and you will pay for it yourselves. You can find a nice way to say this! You can also start a honeymoon registry to help pay for it. The most important thing to remember when discussing money and gifts is to show a lot of gratitude and talk about it in person. This is a bad idea over texting and emails. Your sincerity may not come through and it could create problems that could also manifest at your wedding.



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